Today is a somber day for me in one huge way…. 21 year ago today i lost the one person that gave me life, my mom. I was just 11 years old and it really rocked me to the core. I lost all faith that day he took my mom away from me. To this day i hurt because i always want to show her what her little boy would amount too. She never got to see me play high school football,baseball or volleyball. She wasn’t her to guide me thought out all the changes in my life, to show me right and wrong, to give me a hug after a bad day. I would give 10 years of my life to hug her today. It was hard growing up without her in my life. The school PTA meeting i had no one there, the school play once again no one. Even tho i grew up in a house full of women, my grandma who passed on 2001 my older sister who passed 2003 and the only sister i have left  my younger sister. Grandma tried her best but she was really sick for a lot of years before she passed. You wanna talk about a strong woman, damn. I just wanted to take the time today to remember her for who she was, a loving mother who till her last breath worried about my sisters and me. And since I’m getting older i tend to miss her more and more as the years pass. I will never forget looking down in the casket and wishing she wasn’t laying there. My heart was broken that day and it will never heal till we meet up again. I never had the childhood a lot of you out there had, it was hard and every day was a struggle. So make sure you guys out there that still have living moms out there, give her a call and tell her you love her….

Even as i sit here it’s hard thinking of all the could have been, i hope she doing great where ever she is….. I love you mom!

Advertisements